Dove with Branch
July 10, 2006 Insights From the Dean of Peace
Notes from the Dean's Desk
Hello! - Dean Van Leuven

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Ask the Dean?
Dean Van Leuven   Global Struggle

Dear Dean, My parents are always helping my sister and they never give to me. They even provide more for her in their will than they do for me. Why should I be given less when I have been more responsible? It is not fair that they provide less for me. - Responsible in St. Louis

Responsible, The right to receive as much financial support and inheritance as your sister is only in your own mind. Perhaps your parents feel responsible that your sister can’t provide for herself, and knowing that you can, have decided that she needs more help from them than you do. They feel a different obligation than the one you think they should have. They have given you the gift of making you a responsible person. You have already received more from them than your sister ever will. Why should you feel slighted? - the Dean

Dear Dean, I have an associate at work that is always trying to take sole credit for the solutions to problems that we work out together. What can I do to protect myself from her taking all the credit and getting the recognitions and promotions? - Put Upon at Work

Dear Put Upon, Do your work as well and as cheerfully as you can. Your associate is the one who is playing the dangerous game. Most likely she will pay the price one day. However it is not your job to see that she does. Do your best always. Most likely your supervisor will know what is going on, and the more gracious you are the better the result will be for you. Stay free of her game, and trust that being positive is the only way to be successful. - the Dean

Send your Ask the Dean Questions to: P.O. Box 535, Elmira, OR 97437, or visit www.DeanOfPeace.com. to submit by e-mail.

Law, Politics & Society ... As I see them
  Globe Magnify Glass

Sometimes it pays to step back and look at things with a little broader perspective. We knew we were losing people in hospitals through carelessness. But we never stopped to see how serious the problem was and what we could do about it. When we got to the point that we were losing nearly 100,000 people a year we finally paid attention.

We finally decided it was a problem that needed fixing, and we created a task force to come up with solutions. We developed new procedures to deal with the most common problems. It has been so successful that they now say we have saved over 128,000 thousand lives in the last 18 months.

This is a great example of what we can do when we pay attention, and start looking for solutions. Let’s celebrate this success by taking on another project. War is another problem that causes a lot of needless deaths and suffering. Let’s pay as much attention to it! Maybe we can start by creating a Department of Peace to search for non- lethal solutions to conflict. Maybe we can change our own hearts to be accepting of the ways of others.

Creating a Peaceful New World
  World Peace

Do not be ashamed of yourself. You are always doing the best you can at the moment. You can be sorry for the effect your action had on other people and can decide to change your behavior in the future, but when you feel ashamed you make yourself the victim of your own feelings.

We have the ability to recognize mistakes so we can look for better solutions in the future. When we feel shame for the past, we inhibit our present ability to change the future. Some of us allow our selves to be wounded for the rest of our lives because of our past mistakes.

Tips for Peaceful and Joyful Living
  Left Arrow

Monday: I think about the things in my life of which I feel ashamed.

Tuesday: I realize that shame is simply a learned response to my old mistakes.

Wednesday: I resolve to no longer be ashamed for the mistakes I have made in the past.

Thursday: I search for the choices I have made from which I created shame.

Friday: I resolve to look at undesired results simply as a signal that I need to respond in a different way next time.

Saturday: I resolve to no longer be ashamed of my honest mistakes.

Sunday: I resolve to find a better response any time I feel I make a mistake.

Additional Notes
 

My Phone Seminar for this week is: You are (solely) Responsible for your Anger

Learn how we create our own anger from our own beliefs. Learn how to take responsibility for your anger and how to eliminate it.

You can schedule a phone seminar for the days offered. You can schedule them at your convenience for any day Monday through Thursday between 5:30 PM and 7:30 PM Pacific Time by calling 800-359-6015 or e-mailing drdean@lifewithoutanger.com at least 24 hours in advance to arrange a scheduled time.

The price is $15.00 for a one hour seminar. If you subscribe to my free newsletter “Insights from the Dean of Peace” you are entitled to two free phone seminars to use at your convenience.

If you know someone who might be interested in using any, or all of my regular newspaper columns please pass this information on to them. Or send me their e-mail address, or telephone number and I will be happy to send them the information.

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Remember if you want the free e- book and phone seminars you must subscribe to this newsletter at the website.

 

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