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Subject: DOP Newsletter
Date: Mon, 1 Oct 2007 07:44:15 -0700
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Dove with Branch
October 1, 2007 Insights From the Dean of Peace
Notes from the Dean's Desk

Hello!

This weekly newsletter is available free by subscription. All copies for the year are available on my website.

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Ask the Dean?
Dean Van Leuven   Global Struggle

Dear Dean, Re. Fred (7/23) our fourth child is currently a fifth year college senior. He SHOULD graduate this coming spring. He took a summer job where he is making $14 an hour as a plumber's apprentice within a construction company headquartered in Richmond. They said they will get him his journeyman's license and send him to trade school plus provide company insurance, but he said he would like to finish his degree first. However, he said if they will take him back after graduation next spring, he'll be the first in line to sign up - PERMANENTLY. He is very happy in this job and if he did not have so many years invested in college, he'd drop out and sign on with them now. I have never seen him enjoy any job so much. So it's fine with us if he switches out; but we understand the pursuit of that hard-attained degree. - M.L in VA

Dear M.L., He has chosen to be a plumber but still wants to finish up the degree he has started. What a kid! You are lucky to have him and lucky that you can appreciate him. - the Dean

Dear Dean, My brother is getting married in November. We have received an invitation to the wedding which states no small children are invited. I have two toddlers and I believe the family would enjoy getting to see them. I live several hours away and can't afford child care for that time. Shouldn't they be allowed to come to the wedding? - Irritated Sister

Dear Irritated Sister, I am no wedding planner but the answer is; I think it depends on the bride and groom, mother or whoever is planning the wedding. There is no right answer except that the wedding is generally the focus and whoever is putting on the event gets to decide. Can it be done in the best interest of everyone? No it can't! - the Dean

I welcome questions and/or comments from our readers. Send your Ask the Dean questions or comments to: P.O. Box 535, Elmira, OR 97437, or visit www.DeanOfPeace.com. to submit by e-mail.

Law, Politics & Society ... As I see them
  Globe Magnify Glass

We humans are creative people. It is a well established physiological principle that we are able to create what we are able to envision. In other words; once we believe something is possible we keep working until we find a way to accomplish it. In aviation for example we have advanced from the Wright brothers to visiting the moon, and beyond. Why did we do this? It is because we believed it was possible. When we want something bad enough we keep working at it until we find a way. For example; Edison and the light bulb is an often repeated story in the realm of invention.

We have been slow to learn that we have the same control over our emotional processes as we do our mental processes. When we realize we have control over our emotional processes and learn how to do this we will find the way to peace, if we desire peace. We must begin the quest for peace by learning how to take control of our emotional process and make decisions in our own long range best interest.

The second part of the equation is for enough people to realize that peace is in their own best interest. Somehow we have equated the idea of freedom without peace and power to have what we want without the consideration of others as the primary good; and that peace must be sacrificed in this quest. When we learn to enjoy walking and visiting with our diverse neighbors on a two way street we will be ready to "discover" peace. In the meantime let's learn that to quit hurting each other is in our own best interest.

Creating a Peaceful New World
  World Peace

Once we are aware of how to change the way we process incoming information, change our beliefs, change our biases (ways of looking at things), we are still left with one major problem. That is our memories. Our memories are all of the things that happened to us in our life. Every memory comes with a judgment attached to it. The problem we have is that the judgment attached to a memory affects how we look at new events when they occur. For example, we may have a relative or friend who was killed in an avalanche. We may then transfer that to a fear of snow, or a distrust of weather forecasters.

We can actually revisit those old memories that are upsetting to us, and change the way we feel and think about them today. Some people tend to do this naturally. People who tend to be always positive or always negative have applied their particular bias when looking at old memories, in a way that agrees with the way they want to look at things. If you like someone you tend to forget that they teased you and upset you when you were young. If you don't like them because they teased you, you may forget that they always brought you gifts when they visited.

We can pay attention to old memories and change the ones that still have negative feelings attached so that they no longer do. In dealing with existing positive and negative charges on our memories our goal is to remove or diminish negative emotional charges and develop and intensify as many positive charges as possible. If this makes you feel like a Pollyanna, remember she was the happy one, she only seems unrealistic to unhappy people.

Tips for Peaceful and Joyful Living
  Left Arrow

Monday: Think about a person that you dislike and think of all the positive things you can about that person. List at least three.

Tuesday: Acknowledge the person from your past for their good qualities and make a decision to no longer dislike them.

Wednesday: Forgive and release all the negative memories you hold about the person you have chosen.

Thursday: Carry out this process for all people that you still hold negative memories about.

Friday: Carry out this process for all entities and ideologies that you hold negative emotions about.

Saturday: Resolve to always release any negative emotions that you find in your memory.

Sunday: Resolve to intensify and enjoy your positive emotional memories.

Dean Van Leuven is a psychologist, conducts workshops and is the author of A Peaceful New World and many other books dealing with quality of life issues. Contact him on the web at: www.DeanOfPeace.com

Additional Notes
 

My Phone Seminar for this week is: Having Fun at Work

Work is where we are going to spend much of the time in our lives. If we don't learn to love our work we condemn ourselves to unhappiness. Learn to be happy with what you are doing no matter what it is?

You can schedule a phone seminar for the days offered. You can schedule them at your convenience for any day Monday through Thursday between 5:30 PM and 7:30 PM Pacific Time by calling 800-359-6015 or e-mailing drdean@lifewithoutanger.com at least 24 hours in advance to arrange a scheduled time.

The price is $15.00 for a one hour seminar. If you subscribe to my free newsletter "Insights from the Dean of Peace" you are entitled to two free phone seminars to use at your convenience.

If you are a charitable or religious organization and would like to reprint any of my articles please contact me for permission, which will be cheerfully granted.

If you know someone who might be interested in using any, or all of my regular newspaper columns please pass this information on to them. Or send me their e- mail address, or telephone number, and I will be happy to send them the information.

Past issues of this newsletter are archived on my website.

Remember if you want the free e-book and phone seminars you must subscribe to this newsletter at the website.

I welcome your suggestion or comments. If you have a question that you would like addressed in the Ask the Dean? column feel free to send them to drdean@lifewithoutanger.com

 

Contact Information

phone: 800-359-6015 fax:541-935-9361

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