Dove with Branch
October 22, 2012 Insights From the Dean of Peace
Notes from the Dean's Desk
Dear Peacemaker,
 
       Welcome!

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Ask the Dean?
Dean Van Leuven   Global Struggle

Dear Dean, I had the problem of my two children fighting with each other. What worked for me was to explain the problem to them, and ask them to find a solution or suffer reasonable consequences. It was up to them to find a solution. I was only available as a consultant, and to offer support. They only paid the consequences a couple of times before they got serious about finding a solution. They learned to discuss their common problem and find a solution, and they ended up loving each other. - Shannon in NE

Dear Shannon, Wonderful!! This is a great application of the principle of teaching responsibility with love. When we teach our children to find positive solutions to their problems we create a harmonious family environment. At the same time, we are teaching them the tools they need to create a successful and happy life for themselves and those around them. - the Dean

Dear Dean, As I read today's newsletter, I thought about the sentence that most of us believe that it is important to be right. Understanding that trait in myself is part of the path to re-directing my thoughts on this matter. The other part for me is to ask myself, "What is more important in my relationships: Being loving, or being right?" When I can remember to ask that question, the answer and the actions I need to take become very clear. - Claire in NM

Dear Claire, As always your comments are insightful, thank you for your contribution. - the Dean

I welcome questions and/or comments from our readers. Send your Ask the Dean questions or comments to: 90022 Sheffler Rd., Elmira, OR 97437, or visit www.DeanOfPeace.com. to submit by e-mail.

Law, Politics & Society ... As I see them
  Globe Magnify Glass

The time of the Vietnam War was a time of many protest movements against the war. The cold war was a time of ban the bomb movements. The thing most of these movements had in common was that they were resistance movements against what was going on. The people who were involved were called activists. An activist thus became someone who didn't like what was happening and was fighting for change in the status quo.

I see a different thing appearing more often in the peace movement today. Many of those who are working for peace are working only for positive change. While they are often called activists they are not resisting what is happening. They are just teaching about changing the consciousness of our society so that we choose a nonviolent resolution to our conflicts. Resolution of the conflict becomes more important to them than retribution for the "wrong."

I look at this as a truly positive change in our social outlook. Peaceful resolution to problems is possible. And it produces a happier, less stressed society with more of its energy and resources dedicated to the enjoyment of life, than to the protection of life. War is wasteful and no longer necessary, once we are willing to give up being the "boss of who does what."

Creating a Peaceful New World
  World Peace

In order to have World Peace we must first learn a way of living that allows us to always experience Personal Peace. Personal Peace comes from the way we view and respond to the world around us. Our own personal world and the way we feel about it is determined by the way we chose to respond rather than by what actually happens to us.

Whatever happens is simply what happens. How we choose to view it is determined by our own personal belief system, the way we look at things, and how we feel about all of the stuff that has happened to us in the past. How we feel, and how we respond to something always comes from our own personal choice that we make at the moment the event or thought occurs to us.

Most of us have learned to judge events as either good or bad and respond accordingly. This is the way our parents and the world have taught us how to deal with things. We are taught that we are supposed to feel bad, or angry, when certain things happen. Too often we make a judgment that things are bad and then respond from our negative emotions, instead of being able to calmly think about what happened before we choose how to respond. Emotional choices limit us to responses based on our past.

Tips for Peaceful and Joyful Living
  Left Arrow

Monday: Today I think of the Love I receive from others.

Tuesday: Today I will listen with an open heart.

Wednesday: Today I will take time to be with my family.

Thursday: Today I take time to appreciate nature.

Friday: Today I act in kind and loving ways.

Saturday: Today I smile, have fun and laugh.

Sunday: Today I help someone in need.

Dean Van Leuven is a psychologist, conducts workshops and is the author of Life Without Anger and many other books dealing with quality of life issues. Contact him on the web at: www.DeanOfPeace.com

Additional Notes
 

The World Emotional Literacy League in conjunction with World Without Anger and Lumbini Buddhist University has taken on the task of introducing emotional literacy training in the educational system of Nepal nationwide. In support of that program I conduct workshops throughout the United States and Canada. These workshops provide an introduction to the emotional skills training program as well as an introduction to establishing emotional skills training programs in your local area. The program and my workshops are based on my textbook "Emotional Intelligence - Taking Control of Your Life."

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I welcome your suggestion or comments. If you have a question that you would like addressed in the Ask the Dean? column feel free to send them to drdean@lifewithoutanger.com

 

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